Jody Shelley Wins A Fight & Hydrogen Fusion Solves Energy Crisis
Jody Shelley and Shawn Thornton decided to have a rematch tilt against eachother since their decision to fight on December 1st, 2010. But unlike their scrap over a month and a half ago, last night's wasn't as boring as watching weeds grow on cowshit.
Before a faceoff just minutes into the 1st period, Thornton and Shelley agree on kicking off the match with fisticuffs.
After squaring off at center ice, Shelley managed to get a hold of Thornton's sweater and begin a 30-second beating. As Shawn tried his best to get his angle on Jody, he exposed his face to Shelley's left jab.
Shelley's fist pinged Thornton's jaw like a crewman sending out an S.O.S morse code signal on a sinking ship.
I have to hand it to Shawn, though....he took those jabs like a champ despite Shelley making his head go back and forth like Tony Robbins' mellon on a low ceiling rollercoaster ride.
After several haymaker attempts from Shelley, Thornton decided his face had enough and tried for the take down. He took advantage of one of Jody's booming swings, ducked it out and forced Shelley to the ice with his body.
What happened next is almost comical.
Following the officials separating the two heavyweights and sending them on their way to the sin bins, the Boston crowd cheered and reacted as if Thornton's take down was the fight's decision. I'm still sitting on my couch surprised as all hell that Jody Shelley actually won a fight.
Here we got a home Beantown attendence believing Thornton rose victorious. Those silly bastards. Has Boston ever witnessed a hockey fight?
What happened was this -- Shawn was thinking;
"Oh, what to do!?" BAM! "Son of a.." BAM! "I can't take this shit anym..." BAM! BOOM! FWAP! BOOM! "Screw this! C'mere!!!!" ::end fight; Jody's decision::
The crowd's belief of a winning Thornton is like the French retreating in battle and pissing on every morsel of food on their way out thinking they've accomplished something.
Sorry, Thornton. Maybe next time.