Michael DeNicola

5/26/10

 

Okay, yea I get it; you're pissy because I don't write my articles on a game-by-game basis. Guess what? I have a friggin job that consumes my day and the last thing I wanna do when I drag my chubby ass home is take an hour and a half badging a keyboard and spell-checking every other word I type.

Now that that is said, guess what.....FLYERS MADE IT TO THE STANLEY CUP!!!

I won't bother punching the stats of the Conference Finals against Montreal. Fact of the matter is....we won....in 5 games. Not only did we win it, but we won it in Philly in front of a crowd that mockingly chanted "OLE OLE OLE OLE!" to the Canadien opponent and their entire city.

If you weren't aware, "OLE!" (pronounced -- O.Lay) is Montreal's hockey chant. Their 20,000+ crowd, in unison, screams this dumb shit to pump up their hockey squad. To be perfectly honest, I could not picture a worse thing to feed an athlete's momentum than this.

In fact, Montreal's got their panties so stuffed up their own ass because we mocked that crap chant that they're making a huge deal about us "stealing" their chant!

History lesson, you cretins; "Ole!" has been used amongst the attendence of European football and World Cup finals since its birth! That squats and craps all over the Canadiens 100 year history. So we didn't steal a damn thing.

And also...we (the Flyers crowd) weren't using that sorry excuse of a chant to get anyone pumped up. We were MOCKING YOU! Get off your high horse, Montreal. And spare me the "we have 24 cups!" speech. The majority of those were won when there were 6 goddamn teams in the league. Had the Flyers been playing in a league with half a dozen franchises then we wouldn't have stopped winning cups since 1974.

Okay, I realize how biased and insane that last statement sounded, so pardon me.

 

Next (and this is WAY off topic) I gotta get a message from a buddy telling me to read this joke; http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10145/1060579-87.stm

Spare yourselves the 4 minutes of reading that crap and listen to me -- it's some dipshit moron from Pittsburgh writing about how terrible it is going to be watching a team that employs Marian Hossa and another team that's a division rival battling it out for the cup. (By the way, this yambag is a Penguins fan)

He begins his article with....and I QUOTE..."Haven't we suffered enough?" Suffered? SUFFERED!?!?!?! Not only have the Penguins JUST won a Stanley Cup, but they questionably have the best player in the league on their squad! (Now I hate Crosby, but I'm enough of a hockey fan to dish props when props are deserved)

This guy not only resembles a pedophile in his little profile picture next to the article's beginning sentences, but he has the nerve to ask his readers that if they suffered enough up until now. On top of all that, the douchebag continues saying that the entire city of Philadelphia is just jealous that Pittsburgh's got Sidney Crosby and we don't.

News flash, butt socket, last time I checked -- Sidney Crosby and the rest of your shit tickets lost to Montreal (an 8th seed) and are now spending time nursing their wounds and sucking their thumbs. Meanwhile the Flyers are about to begin one of the most epic Stanley Cup finals of all time. So no, we aint jealous. We don't want some whiny bitch who dives, complains and gargles Mario Lemieux's nads every second of every game in his life time.

Sure, he's had a successful career with more championships and land-marks than most players have in a lifetime, but he can keep his receiving ass in that stretch-mark of a city. Okay?

(Be my guest to send him a link to this article. His email address is published below his article)

 

 

Woooo! Alright.

::stretches, cracks knuckles, takes a deep breath::

Back to business.

 

Anyone else keeping the Daily News as a momento? My father, just last night, asked me "Hey, Mike. You want the cover of the Daily?" I leaped like a frog towards him and grabbed it. I'm framing that son of a bitch.

Analysts are preaching that the Flyers will go down to Chicago in the Stanley Cup series. And you know what? I'm happy about that. I'm happy that these talking suits are, once again, making mine and your Philadelphia Flyers team the underdogs once again.

They're counting us out. Good.

So far, not only have we proven them wrong, but we've written pages in the history book that will one day probably be made into a motion picture. (Jessica Biel should play a character....any character....I don't care)

 

I get it. Chicago's leading in goals scored, they got Kane, Toews, and this concrete shit-house named Dustin Byfuglien camping in front of the crease and taking names. For every player they got, I can name two.

The papers claim they have more depth! Ya know what? I wouldn't mind taking a drag of what they're smoking because NO ONE has got a 4th line like we do. Our 4th line (Lappy, Powe, Asham) can come out of a game with 3 or 4 points and +2.

Chicago doesn't have more depth. We do.

Now listen up -- this is not gonna be a walk in the park. If we win it, we win it in 6 or 7. The Hawks are more than capable of growing a hot streak and sweep our asses like we're dust on a bedroom floor. We have to play smart.

"We have to play smart". Listen to me being all cliche.

I love me some Michael Leighton, but I'm also worried that this kid's got luck, and his luck's gonna run out. This isn't Montreal we're facing. We're dealing with high scorers and presense in the crease of the likes that we've never seen.

I tip my hat to this series because I couldn't picture it any better. Two teams who haven't won a cup since I have been born, and since some of you ever shared a bed with another!

It's gonna be a long, gruesome war between two squads who foam at the mouth thinking about raising that glorious cup. Kissing that cup. Bringing that cup home to their town where thousands watch and tear up just thinking about it.

The same cup, if won, that will be show-boated down the city's streets and allies as if it had saved the earth from annihilation.

Bring it on, Chicago.

 

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